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Aviation Terminology
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Airfoil: Reynolds
Wrap for manufacturing aircraft wings.
Airspeed: Speed of
an airplane. (Deduct 25% when listening to a Navy pilot. Disregard entirely
when talking to an ultralight pilot).
Angle of Attack:
Pick-up lines that pilots use.
Arresting Gear: A
Policeman's equipment.
Bank: The folks
who hold the lien on most pilots' cars.
Barrel Roll: Sport
enjoyed at squadron picnics, usually after the barrels are empty.
Carburetor Icing:
A phenomenon happening to Aero club pilots at exactly the same time they run
out of gas.
Cone of Confusion:
An area about the size of New Jersey located near the final approach beacon
at an airport.
Crab: The squadron
Ops. Officer.
Dead Reckoning:
You reckon correctly, or you are.
Engine Failure: A
condition which occurs when all fuel tanks become filled with air.
Firewall: Section
of the aircraft specially designed to let heat and smoke enter the cockpit.
Glide Distance:
Half the distance from an airplane to the nearest emergency landing field.
Hydroplane: An
airplane designed to land on a wet runway, 20,000 feet long.
IFR: A method of
flying by needle and ripcord.
Lean Mixture:
Nonalcoholic beer.
Motor: Word used
by student pilots and rednecks when referring to the engine.
Nanosecond: Time
delay built into the stall warning system.
Parasitic Drag: A
pilot who bums a ride back and complains about the service.
Range: Usually
about 30 miles beyond the point where all fuel tanks fill with air.
Rich Mixture: What
you order at the other guy's promotion party.
Roger: Term used
by pilots when not sure what else to say.
Roll: The first
design priority for a fully loaded KC-135A.
Service Ceiling:
Altitude at which cabin crews can serve drinks.
Spoilers: The
Federal Aviation Administration.
Stall: Technique
used to explain to the bank why your car payment is late.
Steep Bank: Banks
that charge pilots more than 10% interest.
Tactics: What a
clock sounds like when it needs fixing.
Tail Wind: What
happens after a LAFA breakfast fly-in if beans are on the menu.
Turn & Bank Indicator:
An instrument highly ignored by pilots.
Ultralight: That
new sissy beer from Budweiser.
Ultralight Pilot:
An oxymoron.
Useful Load:
Volumetric capacity of the aircraft, disregarding weight of cargo.
Up: A chant used
by pilots taking off from Colorado Springs, who want to discover the meaning
of life.
VOR: Radio nav
aid, named after the VORtex effect of pilots trying to home in on it.
Windsocks: Socks
that need darning.
Yankee: Any pilot
that asks Houston tower to "Say again."
Zero: Style and
artistry points earned for a gear-up landing.
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