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The Arizona Highway Patrol were
mystified when they came upon a pile of smoldering wreckage embedded in the
side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The metal
debris resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it turned out to be the
vaporized remains of an automobile. The make of the vehicle was
unidentifiable at the scene.
The folks in the lab finally
figured out what it was, and pieced together the events that led up to its
demise.
It seems that a former Air Force
sergeant had somehow got hold of a JATO (Jet Assisted Take-Off) unit. JATO
units are solid fuel rockets used to give heavy military transport airplanes
an extra push for take-off from short airfields.
Dried desert lakebeds are the
location of choice for breaking the world ground vehicle speed record. The
sergeant took the JATO unit into the Arizona desert and found a long,
straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in,
accelerated to a high speed, and fired off the rocket.
The facts, as best as could be
determined, are as follows:
The operator was driving a 1967
Chevy Impala. He ignited the JATO unit approximately 3.9 miles from the
crash site. This was established by the location of a prominently scorched
and melted strip of asphalt. The vehicle quickly reached a speed of between
250 and 300 mph and continued at that speed, under full power, for an
additional 20-25 seconds. The soon-to-be pilot experienced G-forces usually
reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners.
The Chevy remained on the straight
highway for approximately 2.6 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver
applied the brakes, completely melting them, blowing the tires, and leaving
thick rubber marks on the road surface. The vehicle then became airborne for
an additional 1.3 miles, impacted the cliff face at a height of 125 feet,
and left a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock.
Most of the driver's remains were
not recovered; however, small fragments of bone, teeth, and hair were
extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from
a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.
Ironically a still-legible bumper
sticker was found, reading
"How do you like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT."
PS - The above makes a
good story. It has been told repeatedly over the years and has gained
an almost cult-like notoriety, but it has proved to be a nothing more than a
hoax, or the work of an unknown individual with a fertile imagination. To
read about other Darwin Awards (albeit non-flying related ones), go to:
http://www.darwinawards.com
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